Posted by: Editor | March 8, 2011

عورت نے جنم دیا مردوں کو، مردوں نے اسے بازار دیا

By Guest Contributor

Women. Half of humanity, half of civilization, the nerve in any family, mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, teachers, nurses, politicians, doctors, dancers, singers, artists, soldiers, leaders, victims, beggars, prostitutes, namoos, commodity, at times natures most precious creation, at times the only resilient half of the human race. Where women have risen to the heights of social leadership, others have been reduced to the dark corners of the harem of horny men, padded and wrapped inside the cover of male insecurities.

Growing up in a marketplace of outdated ideas, we are all for the most part of our upbringing oblivious to the artificial and superficial barriers of cast, gender, race, tribe, religion, sect, region, ideology, political affiliation, place of origin, profession; oblivious to the point that many of cherish these divisions. After all, people seldom care to care for affairs unless they are personally affected. Who cares if a non-Hazara is being whipped up by kids on the streets in Hazara Town, who cares if a mob of momineen kills a murtad kafir, why should someone worry if a women next door has hung herself to death, why bother questioning the stories coming out of the local mosque, why should someone care if a women in burqa with a very young kid are out on the street begging for food and money in the dead of the winter, why care if a joowan is yelling abuse at some women for not covering up, why concern yourself with the guy who, despite having 3 wives, went away to wed a young girl less than half his age, what’s wrong with men deciding how and why women should live while asking the women to zip it up when they open up to share their concerns, why worry about the area ‘maatameen‘ who spend half their free time calling names and lies after girls passing the street? why but why care for stories of the victimisation of others?

I remember her exuberant face, the confidence with which she would walk up to the front of the class and express herself. I remember like it was yesterday. While the rest of us plagiarised content or came up with the laziest commentary for a class topic, she would tell the class of her genuine aspirations, her dreams, dreams about the great things she wanted to do with her life. Then. Then her life was cut short. She went home one day, tied the one end of a rope around the off-white ceiling fan and tearfully put on the noose of disappointment. She died and took to grave her aspirations, her dreams. dreams about the great things she had wanted to do with her life.

As a 10 year old kid, I cared more for the afternoon football match in the maidani than for the death of a classmate from the Language center where I learned English, as per the wishes of my parents. Friends told me that she had been sold of to someone fat-cat rich guy living in Saudi Arabia. They told that she had refused to be wed off to some fat-cat rich guy living in Saudi Arabia. They told me that she had been subject to torture and unspeakable physical punishment at the hands of her dear brother and her respectable father. They told me that there wasn’t going to be a police inquiry. And they told me that since she had committed suicide she didn’t qualify for a proper fatiha and proper burial. She was a woman, a daughter, a sister, a friend and she was dead.

We all know bits and pieces about stories so sad, lives so tearful and deaths so similar. We all know girls, young girls who have been sold off to some stranger, we all know of girls forced to leave schools and studies to become wives and mothers to ten kids, we all know of girls forced to go around in peacock shuttle burqas and saddist black veils against their wishes, we all know of girls instructed to kill their dreams and murder their enthusiasm, we all know of women being respected but given no dignity, we all know of a corner of our world where people take pride in “respecting” women but dead set refuse to give them any space, any power, any say and any authority. Yes, we all do and we all know that we did and said nothing about any of it.

We can watch, appreciate and endure while men dance, sing, clap, play, swim, walk, run, speak, laugh, cry, yell and kill but our collective consciousness is too insecure, too sick to watch a girl do any of it and once a barrier is crossed, perpetrators suffer and die at the hands of their honourable fathers, brave brothers, loving husbands and caring relatives.

We are a society of sick hypocrites, we all are. We are raised to model our lives on ideals created and practiced over a thousand years back and my goodness, we do it really well and with great efficiency. We refuse to let the wheel of history roll forward in time. Our elders, our books, our stories, our leaders, our mullahs, our society; they are all rotten, they smell and the smell is about to pollute the world.

Happy International Women’s Day!

مردوں کے لۓ ہر ظلم روا، عورت کے لۓ رونا بھی خطا
مردوں کے لۓ ہر عیش کا حق، عورت کے لۓ جینا بھی سزا
مردوں کے لۓ لاکھوں سیجیں، عورت کے لۓ بس ایک چتا
عورت نے جنم دیا مردوں کو، مردوں نے اسے بازار دیا
– ساحر


Responses

  1. Well said brother. Any one (specially the men living in pak and Afg) who deny the fact that there is an entrenched social crisis in Afg and Pak, I say to them you have lost all your 5 senses. physical torture of a women (by a man) is the most “be Gairat” act of all…yet we witness and hear about these events repeated every single day in our homes.

  2. Read It Today (April 10th) … Loved The Continuity Of Your Writing Style. And There Were Some Points Which Made Me Think About The Very Nature Of Myself.

    P.s. ::: Have Not Read The Comments. Had Limited Time🙂
    P.s.s :: Better Write Your Name Instead Of Guest Contributor … Would Be Waiting For Your Posts .

  3. I don’t care whether you are a man or woman but whatever you said shows that you are also a hypocrite. You belong to the other end of extremism, impressed by the West, singing song of freedom, talking big and doing little, using nice words to impress people.

    People like you want madonna like freedom in our society, the sort of freedom in which the child is born but father in unknown. Where a lady is shown in bikini next to a super car and it is urged to test drive her. Where beautiful women are hired to promote sports. Where she is only means of business and nothing else. What sort of freedom and advancement are you giving women by propagating to remove their veils and making them wear bikinis.

    As a matter of fact the biggest enemy of women is women herself. In a domestic dispute she may not be involved directly herself but is always involved in some way. If a newly wed bride is divorced it is because of the blessing of mother in law who is a woman. Two brother who are ready to sacrifice everything for each other become bitter rivals once they get married. Who is responsible? The same women. Men are forced to increase their income by illegal means by the same very women.

    Referring to your beautiful story of the girl hanging herself. Without even investigating you came to the conclusion that she was forced to marry someone against her wishes by her father. It couldn’t be her mother? In fact, today 70% of the matrimony take place with the order of same women not men. If not sure, do a survey and you will for sure agree with me.

    And by the way, you mentioned men getting marrying three or four times. These days they can’t even marry once because of the increasingly huge demands of the same women. I guess we should have a Men’s day not Women’s day. At least in our society.

    • Really good my brother. I am shocked to see how you show men in our society so innocent and oppressed by women. Doesn’t a man have will power enough to not let a woman be source of dispute between him and his brother. Just so you know, women do not divorce her daughter-in-law. It is men that signs and makes the decision to sign the paper.

      • Yes, you are right it is men who sign the paper, most men have the will power as well. If men decides not to sign the divorce paper, he is considered disobedient by his mother. If he signs it he becomes a culprit to his wife and to the rest of the society. Women leaves for most men only two way either to leave his brother or family or leave her. In both cases men is the wrong doer. He is in no win situation. Dear, women also is not that innocent as she look, as the author of this article has described her so. The author of the article gave a sweeping statement against men. Which is untrue. Our mind is set. Anything happens we blame men for it and the so called Humanitarian organizations add to that immensely by portraying the picture of the men in our society as a Dracula where as the situation in their own countries is much more worse.

    • Ali
      All the hogwash you present as an argument against the West merely shows we have freedom of choice. It is the woman’s choice if she wants to make money wearing a bikini. Strangely, I can’t see anything wrong with that.

      You are generalising re mothers-in-law. I hope that all mothers-in-law are not as you depict them. As for blaming them for being the reasons that brothers “become bitter enemies” that possibly is your own personal experience and does not belong in an open and complex discussion like this.

      To be fair, though, I do agree with you on one point. It seems so silly do have scantily clad women wandering around and smiling cheesy smiles at car races. The only part they have to play is being “eye-candy” for men. So very shallow.

  4. Dear Author of the Article!

    I would better suggest you see a psychologist and/or a psychiatrist for your mental health problem. You look like having Paranoia. Your catastropic thinking and delusional perception may better be treated by a Pyshcologist and/or a psychiatrist before it further pioson yourself or infect others.

    Regards,

    • Perhaps it would be better if you heeded your own advice!

  5. In the name of Bamiyan

    Dear Writer ,

    I agree with most of your arguments , but still it seems u have exaggerated some how . position or status of our woman is not in our hands totally . living in Quetta different parts of our population with accordance to their locations have different mind sets for woman. than imagine how much different mentally . and in general we are much better or leading community for such human respects in this part of the world … although things like u mentioned happens … but it is only one side of the coin ….
    it is not that man force woman to bazars but some times they choose to be in bazars . Normally it is said that the financial ( food , shelter , clothing ) condition of this woman was not good so she is there in bazar .. but things go beyond that … like in every other profession … life will not be as perfect as we wish …
    Everything u mentioned holds water in it …. but we should not mourn on this … instead try to make things better for us and for our woman if we really care for them and we are not rotten and smell disgusting … we can see more people living very well with honor and respect ,proper as a standard hazara family than those rotting in our community ……..
    pains , sorrows , sufferings but happiness all are part of our life .. we can’t deny it .
    but we live it …
    this article will be much suitable in Lahore with Sahir’s poetry …

    Ba amman e Bamiyan …

  6. Beautiful text and trebute to a person of your aquaintace, thanks for sharing it to all of us. I really appreciate your thoughts and wish more of us (if not everyone) had such ideas.

    Although suicide is not the right way to oppression or torture, as a human being everyone needs sympathy of a fellow human. The most unfortunate of all is that many women accept that bad behavior from men and behave in the same way with their daughters and daughter-in-lawescape s. Not only this, they also condemn those who try to raise their voice.

    But I am not without hope. I know my nation is much more open-minded than many others that I know of.

  7. Thank you for recognising and appreciating women on such an important day for all of us. Your words are written with love and respect.

    “We refuse to let the wheel of history roll forward in time. Our elders, our books, our stories, our leaders, our mullahs, our society; they are all rotten, they smell and the smell is about to pollute the world.”

    You are so right – the only power that these people can truly wield is persecuting those whom they have kept enslaved and trampled underfoot thanks to old-fashioned notions of women being regarded as chattels by men. Unless women unite in one great cause there is no way out of such a catastrophe. When I say unite, I mean agree! Older and younger generations of women need to rise above the opinions and cruelty of these men. It only takes one or two women in a household to keep the others back. This is true “Unity” and it is the most difficult to achieve.

    Reading what you have written I reflect on my country, Australia, and its attitude to women. Even here with a female Prime Minister and a female Governor General there are many who seek to undermine them, mostly men of a certain generation. Sexual discrimination, particularly in the workplace, here is against the law. But the woman needs courage and the support of others to bring her case to bear. She may even lose her job because she has alienated other workers by her courage; and if the perpretator is her boss, she can expect to be given a very bad time in her job if she stays. Admittedly, the problem is nowhere near as serious as it is where you come from. The problem is so deep grained, and women have been treated badly in general for so long, that I have my doubts it will change to genuine respect and equality for women in my life time. However, what you have written, and the hope that others who read it may stop and think, gives me consolation.

    Bless you brother! or is it sister?


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